In the wild West of the internet, two gunslingers roam Sheriff Law Enforcement and Big Data Bill, the corporate data collector.

In the wild West of the internet, two gunslingers roam Sheriff Law Enforcement and Big Data Bill, the corporate data collector. But guess what? Their wrangling of your personal information follows distinctly different rules.

Sheriff Law Enforcement: Plays by the book. Needs a darn good reason (probable cause, they call it) to come snoopin' through your digital saloon (phone or computer). A warrant's their badge, keepin' things fair and your privacy protected from prying eyes. Did you know, according to a Pew Research Center, a whopping 72% of Americans believe data privacy laws are very or somewhat important?

Big Data Bill: Shoots first, asks questions later. Bill figures if you're moseyin' around his online territory (apps, websites), you've already given your tacit consent to him trackin' your every click. Askin' permission? Nah, that'd slow down business! Bill uses all that data to hawk his wares (targeted ads) – we're talkin' billions of dollars worth, according to a Forbes report – and make your experience real spiffy (supposedly).

The Legal Dusty Trail: Sheriff Law Enforcement operates under a clear set of laws, but Big Data Bill's in a bit of a regulatory gray area. There ain't no universal gold standard for how companies handle your information, which is why folks are cryin' out for some privacy regulations!

The Fix We Need: We need a new sheriff in town! One that protects our privacy without stoppin' progress dead in its tracks. Here's what we're lookin' for:

Transparency: We gotta know what data Bill's squirrelin' away and what he's doin' with it. No more shady backroom deals!

User Power-Up: We want control! Let us choose what data gets shared and make it easy to say "no thanks" to unwanted trackin'.

Big Data Bill, Behave!: Companies gotta design their systems with privacy in mind. Take what they need, not everything!

In all seriousness, as technology evolves, the balance between public safety, privacy, and innovation remains a critical challenge. It requires ongoing dialogue, legislation, and technological solutions to ensure privacy rights are protected while allowing for legitimate law enforcement activities and beneficial technological advancements.

Do I think that will happen any time soon? Nope, not a chance while outlaw greed is running rampant in every internet corner and in every country. Greed is incurable and if it could be measured it would be more powerful than gravity.